Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Am I Willing?

I've been away from my blog for awhile as I was caring for my mom after surgery.  While away, I spent 3 weeks out of my typical surroundings.  This, I think, is something everyone should do from time to time.  A change of scenery and routine is a wake-me-up for all the senses.  In those 3 weeks, God answered something in my life that I've been seeking for several months, but that is another (LONG) post for another day.  (Soon...really!)

But today He led me to something that simply had to bubble up and spill out...

Luke 1:38  "Mary responded, 'I am the Lord's servant, and I am willing to accept whatever he wants.  May everything you have said come true.'  And the angel left."  

I've read this probably a zillion times in passing.  I've even stopped several times to comb those words slowly.  I have it underlined in my Bible.  But today, it sunk into my spirit on a different level.

Those 8 words hit me as if I had never fully understood them: "I am willing to accept whatever he wants."


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Am I willing?  It's easy to say I'm willing.  But, with all conviction, could I truly say those 8 words and really mean it?

Isn't it a loaded statement?  That unclear word "whatever" is where the throat constricts and the feet begin to step back.  What if the "whatever" will turn my world upside down?  What if that "whatever" is something I'm not ready to accept?  What if that "whatever" goes against every fiber of common sense I have?  What if His plan involves a "whatever" that I'm simply not comfortable with?  Or worse...something I've said I'd never ever be able to do?

If only the "whatever" was outlined so that I could read it ahead of time...like a contract that needs careful inspection.  If only I could see the details before I agreed.  That would allow me to be able to put any amendments on the table before signing the dotted line.

But that's not faith.  When God called Abram to leave his hometown and travel to the land that God showed him, He didn't tell Abram where the land was.  Abram had to choose to trust God without the details.  He chose to obey and to step out with no solid evidence to rest his mind upon.  It's no different today.  The people  God can trust are the ones that say, as Mary did, "I am the Lord's servant, and I am willing to accept whatever He wants."

This is where He wants us.  This is where He is leading me.  I believe He has a "whatever" that will rock my world upside down, and why would I want anything less than that?

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